Satisfying
Coping with Your Acquaintance’s Divorce
If your therapist asks you whether Jason is your father, calmly explain that he’s your college friend’s old roommate.
Read MoreDueling Tips from a Veteran Duelist
Judicial combat is a seminal moment and, with a record of 22-0 (humans) and 1-1 (trumpeter swan, with rematch), you’ve come to the right person for advice!
Read MoreEven Cookie Monster Sick of Accepting All Cookies
That’s when Cookie Monster start to wonder, who real monster…
Read MoreThe Near-Future Dystopia in Which Everything Is Taylor Swift
I come downstairs and kiss my wife, Taylor Swift, and ruffle the hair of my son, Taylor Swift.
Read MoreEveryone Is Inherently Worthy of Love, Respect, and Belonging — Except for You
My metaphysical hands are tied. It’s up to the collective hearts and minds of all that have been, that are, and that have yet to be.
Read MoreThe Trick-Question Section of the Student Aptitude for Withstanding Testing Anxiety Admission Test
John feels that trick questions on standardized tests are A) Necessary, B) Vexing, C) Forgromulent, or D) A word we made up just to trick John?
Read MoreWe Will Be Filming on Your Street Tomorrow for a Show That You and All Your Friends Will Really Hate!
The main characters will be named Tad, Morglee, Suppa, and Caldwater. They are all incredibly hot but still unpleasant to look at.
Read MoreHelp, It’s Your King! I’m Trapped and Will Surely Burn Alive Unless You Download This Mobile Game and Match Blocks by Similar Color and Shape!
I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?
Read MoreFAQ About ExxonMobil’s Plant-a-Tree Pledge
For every barrel of oil sold, a mid-level sales associate enters a tally mark into a Google spreadsheet.
Read MoreI Am Proof That Neuralink Works!
Soon we’ll live in a world where Neuralink will let us surf the internet just by thinking about it and bleeding from our eyes.
Read More