Reasons I Need a Treat
It has been a while since I’ve had a treat.
It has been a long week, and now it’s [FRIDAY / SATURDAY].
I’ve finished my [BREAKFAST / LUNCH / DINNER].
It has been a long day, and now it’s [8:30 PM / 4:15 PM / 2:07 PM / 11:16 AM / 2:04 AM].
I deserve a reward for being good at [WORK / THE GYM / HOME DOING CHORES / OUT RUNNING ERRANDS / SEX / PRETENDING TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE / THROWING DARTS].
I was [GOOD AT WORK TODAY, AND NEED A REWARD / BAD AT WORK TODAY, AND NEED A REMINDER OF WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE REWARDED, SO THAT I CAN BE GOOD AT WORK TOMORROW].
Someone has [OFFERED ME A TREAT / SAID “I CAN’T FINISH THIS” ABOUT A TREAT / SAID “I’M GOING TO GET A TREAT. DO YOU WANT ONE?”].
I [NEED MOTIVATION / FEEL MOTIVATED, AND CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE THAT STEAM].
I just read [A SCIENCE ARTICLE THAT SAID GIVING YOURSELF A TREAT INCREASES DOPAMINE / A DEPRESSING NEWS STORY AND NOW I NEED AN INCREASE IN DOPAMINE, OF WHICH I PREVIOUSLY READ ABOUT IN A SCIENCE ARTICLE / A NOTIFICATION FROM THE TREAT PLACE THAT MY FREE TREAT EXPIRES TOMORROW].
I saw an ad for a treat I normally wouldn’t like, but [THE AD WAS ADMITTEDLY CONVINCING / THE AD WAS NOT AT ALL CONVINCING, AND SO NOW I NEED TO REVIEW THE TREAT IN ORDER TO PROVE MY THEORY THAT IT IS NOT A GOOD TREAT/ THE TREAT IS ONLY AROUND FOR A LIMITED TIME, AND I HAVE A TATTOO THAT SAYS “NO REGRETS”].
I’m [OUT WITH FRIENDS, WHO ARE ALL GETTING TREATS / OUT BY MYSELF, AND A TREAT IS A GOOD SUBSTITUTE FOR FRIENDS / OUT WITH COWORKERS I CAN’T STAND, AND NEED A TREAT TO RENDER IT MORE BEARABLE / OUT WITH FAMILY I CAN’T STAND, AND NEED A TREAT TO RENDER IT MORE BEARABLE].
Hot yoga was [SO GOOD TODAY / NOT VERY FULFILLING TODAY / CANCELLED TODAY / SOMETHING I CONSIDERED SIGNING UP FOR BUT A TREAT IS CHEAPER AND LESS OF A COMMITMENT].
I’m reading a book [IN MY CHAIR / AT THE PARK / AND HAVEN’T POSTED ON INSTAGRAM IN A WHILE].
I did just have a treat, but that treat was a little too [DRY / MOIST / CRUNCHY / CHEWY / SWEET / SOUR / COLD / HOT / STICKY IN MY TEETH].
Isn’t today [EASTER / VALENTINE’S DAY/ CINCO DE MAYO / ARBOR DAY / ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS DAY / JUNETEENTH / MOTHER’S DAY IN CANADA / MELBOURNE CUP DAY / LIKE A WEEK UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY]?
If I treat myself I will be [MORE GENEROUS TOWARD OTHERS / MORE DISCIPLINED WITH MYSELF / FIFTY POINTS CLOSER TO MY NEXT LOYALTY REWARD].
I happen to have [FOUND SOME EXTRA MONEY LYING AROUND, AND IT’S JUST ENOUGH FOR A LITTLE TREAT / NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO AFFORD A TREAT, AND THE DEPRESSION THAT HAS IMMEDIATELY SET IN COMPELS ME TO CONSOLE MYSELF WITH A TREAT].
The weather outside is [PERFECT FOR A TREAT / SO BALMY I NEED A TREAT].
I’m feeling [JOY / SADNESS/ ANGER / DISGUST / FEAR / ANXIETY / ENVY / ENNUI / BASICALLY LIKE ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM INSIDE OUT OR ITS SEQUEL, INSIDE OUT 2].
[I TOOK OUT THE RECYCLING BIN / MY NEIGHBOR IS BEING A TOTAL WANKER/ MY MARCH MADNESS BRACKET DID TO PRETTY GOOD / DEMOCRACY IS IN SHAMBLES / GLOBAL TEMPERATURES ARE RISING / I SAVED MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE / OH, THEY BROUGHT BACK THAT TREAT THEY HAD LAST YEAR! / FEELING KIND OF MEH, NEED A LIL PICK-ME-UP]
It has been a long week, and now it’s [A DAY THAT ENDS IN Y].