Satisfying

If you still need more time, we get it. Everyone reads at their own pace, but you must be at least halfway through, right?

I felt a little weird so I went to the bathroom. And—I’m sorry if this is TMI—but I just started fucking bawling man.

Yes, I want to see my friend’s joke about pouring milk in the bowl before cereal, but I also want a bot to direct me to pussy in bio.

After a decade of not giving them a dime for any of their creative output, I just don’t understand why they would call it quits.

Disappointing Truth: Stonehenge is just another case of mass hysteria. In reality, of course, rocks can’t be balanced on top of each other.

Apathy doesn’t gel with our mission of making dogs better-looking with the transformative power of AI.

“Sounds like a nightmare. Tell me all about it.”

Text MISS YOU if you’re counting down the minutes until you can hold me in your arms.

Now the new books tell me that I am no longer in print and all the Borders are gone.

I learned that another billionaire you all despise was going to gather you for a similar dinner next week—and I one upped him!