I Make Nature Sounds, and I’m Offended You Use Them for Sleep

Imagine if someone came up to you and told you your music, your art, “put them to sleep.” Would you react kindly? Well, us nature sounds musicians are real innovators in the field and we don’t appreciate the disrespect.

First of all, I’m not a “sleep sounds maker,” I am an artist. I make music that is meant to inspire. I sometimes listen back to my own sounds and cry. Cry because of how moved I am. And you’re knocked out after ten seconds of my sixteen hour “Ocean Waves” album? The least you could do is listen to all sixteen hours.

What, you think a masterwork like “Swamp at Dawn” just happens? You think I just leave my voice notes running in a swamp at dawn? You fool. I have to curate every sound, coax the music out of Mother Nature’s jealous embrace. Like, birds don’t just “appear” to anyone. I speak their language. Remember “Morning Fog Affirmation”? Most of the bird call sounds you heard were me. I had to provoke them into speaking by using common bird insults like “can’t balance on wire” or “last in V formation.” I burned so many bridges for this, all of them in the bird area of the San Diego Zoo. It’s like you don’t respect that.

Also, do you know how hard it is to capture pure nature sounds in the age of deforestation? Once, I thought I was recording the soft humming of one thousand bees. Nope, it was a chainsaw. A chainsaw used to chop down my instrument (the trees). And yet I keep producing content. Relentlessly. Unswervingly. I recorded three versions of “Rain in C Minor” during a six month DROUGHT. I had to pour tap water on a piano hundreds of times just to get the sound right.

And joke’s on me for spending all that time coming up with titles that comfort and inspire. Titles like “Embrace the River.” “Bathe In Lagoon.” “Eye Contact With A Tree.” Do you think I just pulled those out of my ass? Those took days to come up with. I bet you’re not even reading the titles, you’re just typing “nature sounf” into Spotify and clicking at random. That’s not fair to me and the weeks I spent coming up with thoughtful titles like “Biome Sounds,” and “Bird Children,” and “Bird Children First Flight.”

To be clear: I make art for its own sake. But is it too much to ask for a bunch of recognition as well? I contributed sound effects to all the calm outdoor scenes of Jurassic World. But everyone remembers the theme song, and nobody cares about the ancient cicada noises I manufactured by zipping five zippers while unzipping five more.

It’s like…are my fans asleep? Yes. They are all asleep and I hate it. The only ones who aren’t snoozing play my music in the background when they want to “focus on other things” and “be productive.” I see. So my art isn’t compelling enough to demand your full attention? Then you’re not a true nature sounds fan. I want you to engage. I want you to make an independent jazz remix of “Swamp at Dawn.” I want you to come to my concert and scream the lyrics even though they’re in bird. I want you to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry, fell asleep there for a second. But ONLY because it’s my bedtime, NOT because of the soft forest sounds playing in the background. Accompanied by a string quartet and a chill beat. And a piano melody that personifies the sunrise. And a deep bell.

Speaking of which, I’m gonna get ready for bed now. Time to put on my sleep sounds playlist! 16 hours of pure silence.