Course Catalog for the University of Passive Aggression
DEPARTMENT OF HOUSEHOLD DYNAMICS
HHD 101: Introduction to Loud Sighing While Doing Dishes
Prerequisites: Basic resentment, access to kitchen
Students will master the fundamental techniques of audible exhaling while performing routine chores. Topics include: optimal sigh volume for maximum guilt transmission, timing sighs with footsteps for dramatic effect, and advanced breath control for sustained passive-aggressive soundscapes.
Lab fee: $45 (broken plate replacement fund).
HHD 201: The Silent Treatment: Theory and Practice
Prerequisites: HHD 101, advanced grudge-holding ability
An intensive seminar examining the strategic deployment of silence as communication. Students will analyze case studies ranging from the tactical three-hour freeze-out to the legendary month-long Aunt Margaret incident of 1987. Final project requires maintaining silence while clearly indicating what the other person did wrong through eye contact alone.
DEPARTMENT OF TEXTUAL COMMUNICATIONS
TXT 150: “Fine” as a Complete Sentence
Prerequisites: Basic literacy, underlying frustration
Students master the art of conveying maximum displeasure through minimum effort. Course modules include: “Fine” vs. “FINE” (capitalization as emphasis), “Fine.” vs. “Fine…” (punctuation implications), and the nuclear option: responding with just a single period. Final exam tests ability to shut down conversations with a single word.
TXT 250: Ellipses and Emotional Subtext
Prerequisites: TXT 150, proficiency in unfinished thoughts
Advanced study in the strategic deployment of trailing dots to indicate unspoken feelings. Students will master the difference between disappointed ellipses (…), ominous ellipses (…..), and the devastating “Okay then…” Final exam requires conveying hurt feelings using only three dots and perfect timing. Administered via text message only.
DEPARTMENT OF WORKPLACE DYNAMICS
WRK 310: “That’s Interesting” and Other Professional Deflections
Prerequisites: History of workplace disappointment
Students learn to express disagreement without technically disagreeing. Advanced modules include: responding to terrible ideas with “I’ll definitely give that some thought,” the art of thanking someone for information you already hate, and the devastating “I appreciate you sharing your perspective on this.”
WRK 330: Email Archaeology: Reading Between the Lines
Prerequisites: WRK 310, chronic inbox anxiety
Analysis of professional correspondence for hidden meanings. Students decode the implications of “Per my last email,” “Circling back,” and “Hope this helps!” Course culminates in a practicum where students must identify passive aggression in actual workplace emails without explicitly acknowledging the subtext.
DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
SOC 401: The Art of Remembering Things Differently
Prerequisites: Selective memory, unshakeable confidence
Students explore alternative interpretations of shared experiences. Course modules include strategic reframing techniques, selective amnesia regarding your own behavior, and advanced victimhood positioning. Final project involves reframing a recent argument to make yourself the reasonable party.
SOC 480: “I’m Not Mad” While Obviously Mad
Prerequisites: All previous SOC courses, acting ability
Advanced coursework in maintaining plausible deniability while radiating negative energy. Students learn to say “I’m okay” through clenched teeth, perform aggressively helpful acts of service, and perfect the art of being technically correct about your emotional state while everyone can clearly see you’re furious.
ELECTIVES
SPEC 590: Thesis Seminar: “I Guess I’ll Just Do Everything Myself”
Prerequisites: Advanced standing, martyrdom complex
Capstone course where students demonstrate mastery of all passive-aggressive techniques through a final project of their choosing. Previous theses include: “The Sigh-to-Action Ratio in Suburban Households,” “Nonverbal Communication Patterns in Shared Living Spaces,” and the award-winning, “Why Nobody Else Seems to Notice When the Trash is Full: A Longitudinal Study.”
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