Budget-Friendly Halloween Candy Alternatives Amid Tariff Hikes
With Trump’s tariffs affecting imported confections, handing out Halloween candy is unfortunately not an option for many cash strapped Americans. But that doesn’t mean you need to draw your blinds and pray you aren’t egged. Here’s some inexpensive alternatives for trick-or-treaters.
Last year’s Halloween candy: It’s gotta be here somewhere, right? You’re pretty sure you stashed that bowl of Charleston Chews and vanilla Tootsie Rolls that no one wanted on the top shelf of your pantry last year. Let’s just hope the Easter Bunny didn’t use it to supplement his baskets.
A detailed description of discontinued candy bars: You know what’s better than not getting a piece of candy? Hearing about candy you’ll never get to enjoy ever. All the little KPop Demon Hunters and costumeless teens will be rapt for attention as you describe that time you ate a PB Max in 1993.
A bag of pennies: You run the risk of arming a bunch of disappointed, sugar-addled children with bludgeon-worthy plastic sacks of copper, but with pennies being phased out, maybe you can convince the kids these’ll be collector’s items one day.
Infinite chocolate bar trick: Assuming that the GIF you saw on Facebook isn’t lying, apparently you can just buy 1 chocolate bar, cut it diagonally and remove a single piece of chocolate forever.
An amusing anecdote: One thing children love is a humorous and personal anecdote from an adult stranger. Maybe you can’t eat a story, but we’re sure trick-or-treaters will thoroughly enjoy hearing about the time you saw Gary Sinise at a Thai restaurant in Norfolk, Virginia.
A free follow on LinkedIn: Kids know that social media clout is currency. A follow from a respected community member and homeowner can be invaluable.
Honest feedback on costumes: Most adults will tell kids their costumes are “cute,” hand them a Jolly Rancher and send them on their way. Why not be the house that provides an honest and constructive costume critique? Some kids might cry, but most will appreciate learning that a hasty toilet paper wrap job don’t make a mummy.
A handful of peanut butter: Go on kids, everyone reach into the Skippy jar and get yourself a scoop of peanut butter! No more than two fingers, please. This has to last all night.
Each kid gets to punch you in the head one time: Just one time, obviously. Let’s not get nuts here. You can take one punch from like 50 kids. You’re an adult. How hard can they hit? They got little baby hands.