As a Millennial, I’ll Never Be Able to Own a House: The Complete Series DVD Box Set

Growing up as a bright-eyed Millennial during the worst economic crises ever, 9/11, and multiple Middle East wars, I was taught that if I worked hard enough, I could achieve the American Dream: two and a half kids, a domesticated wife with no autonomy, and a House: The Complete Series DVD box set. But the more upsetting CNN headlines I skim, the more likely it seems the dream of enjoying a career-best performance by Hugh Laurie is out of reach.

My parents’ generation continuously talks about the good ol’ days about candy bars costing pocket change, hanging out in the arcade, and being able to ride their bikes around town without being kidnapped. The paychecks at the companies they worked at for 35 years could afford them everything the American Dream promised from a car, a college education, to a House: The Complete Series DVD box set. I can’t help but be jealous that they got to see Dr. House diagnose a patient with African sleeping sickness after connecting it to a rare parasite during Season 5’s “Not Cancer” and when he was able to identify copper poisoning from jewelry in Season 3’s “Fetal Position” episode.

If the founding fathers were alive today, they would be heartbroken to see that owning one of Fox’s most successful TV show DVD sets is no longer a given.

The way I live compared to when my parents were my age couldn’t be more different. I’ve got a job as a barista that barely covers my rent, so I’m forced to throw away money to a streaming service every month instead of owning my own House: The Complete Series DVD box set.

Sometimes I go down a rabbit hole looking at dream House: The Complete Series DVD box sets on Amazon that I’ll never be able to afford. You know, the House: The Complete Series DVD box sets with bonus features, behind the scenes interviews, and the lost blooper where Hugh Laurie totally ate dirt running down the fake hospital floor. And then I look at the pre-owned House: The Complete Series DVD box sets that I could actually afford listed on eBay, but it’s like, what’s the point? Why pay a discounted $39.99 for a starter House: The Complete Series DVD box set with scratched discs and ripped sleeves when I’m always outbid anyway?

What hurts the most about this lack of House affordability, is that it was 100% preventable. Both sides of the political aisle are to blame for the big Millennial missing out on the happenings at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Congress has really done nothing to address rising inflation or the egregious cost of House: The Complete Series DVD box sets. I know it’s harder these days with polarization on both sides but this universal issue of giving people the chance to own their own House: The Complete Series DVD box set needs to be a bipartisan issue. Right now, I can’t think of any more important issue this country can tackle.

And without a House: The Complete Series DVD box set of my own, I don’t really see the point of bringing children into this world with the life I’m living now. It’s already cramped as it is having to watch House via a shared Hulu login with my roommate’s cousin’s wife, and having to be booted off when they decide they want to watch Castle. It’s a hard life. And I don’t want any children of mine growing up watching pirated episodes of House and then having to deal with getting their laptop wiped for malware at the Apple Genius Bar. Speaking from experience, it’s absolutely harrowing having those nerds think you’re watching porn but really you were just watching the amazing Dr. House save lives on www2.thepiratebay3.co.

So for now, all I can do is join my Boomer parents every Sunday as they enjoy the freedom of popping in disc 3 out of 4 for the 7th season and watching Dr. House cure some infectious disease and be sexy with his sexy cane. Until they die off and I inherit their entire special edition House: The Complete Series DVD box set and their $2.5 million mansion.