Alternative Forms of Voter ID for Each State

Alaska — The name and physical description of a local plow driver

Nevada — An inventory of what you’ve pawned to try to recoup your gambling losses

Wisconsin — Pocket cheese

Michigan — The forlorn look that only a Lions fan could have

Texas — A gun, and a declaration that you’re “a good guy”

Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa — A framed photo of you holding up an ear of corn like an Academy Award

California — Your Academy Award

Colorado — A polaroid of you in hiking boots kneeling beside your unwashed Subaru Outback

West Virginia — Sooty palms, which must then be washed to avoid invalid ballots

Alabama, Mississippi — Your plainly visible Confederate flag tattoo

Pennsylvania — The discreet Confederate flag tattoo under your collar

Connecticut — A LinkedIn reference from a Red Sox fan and a Yankees fan

Delaware — A record of all the times you’ve seen Joe Biden at the Wilmington Amtrak station

Washington, D.C. — A traffic cam snapshot of you running a red

North Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas — A bottle of your signature barbecue sauce (signature must be on bottle)

Hawaii — “Hawaiʻi”

Kentucky — Have never been to the Kentucky Derby

Indiana, Oklahoma — Arriving at the polls on your tractor

New Jersey — Directions to the nearest Sopranos filming location

Maryland — Directions to Camden Yards that avoid The Wire filming locations

Rhode Island — Which Newport mansion you’d like to own and why

Washington, Oregon — Commenting on how nice the overcast weather is

Massachusetts — The address of your lake house in New Hampshire

Maine — Digging out an L.L. Bean receipt from your cargo shorts

New Hampshire — A complaint about lake house owners from Massachusetts

Vermont — A self-portrait you whittled out of a stick

Louisiana — A catfish bite mark

Minnesota — Praising paper ballots purely as a sign of respect for Paul Bunyan

Florida — A video of you praising the “achievements” of the “outstanding” and “tall” Ron DeSantis

Arizona — The emergency cactus you keep on your back porch in case of severe drought

Georgia — The name and number of your Masters ticket connection

North Dakota — Any piece of clothing that says “North Dakota” on it

South Dakota — A friend of a friend says they know about “the treasure” buried in Mount Rushmore

Idaho, Montana, Wyoming — A ten-step plan in case the Yellowstone megavolcano erupts/the Democrats come to take your guns

Ohio — Defining “buckeye”

Virginia — A list of three things in your county that were once named after Robert E. Lee

South Carolina — A list of three things in your county that have recently been named after Robert E. Lee

Utah — A ski trip family photo (wide lens)

New York — Your driver’s license will do just fine, as long as you brag that it’s better than every other state’s