The Five Stages of Drake Fan Grief

Denial

When we lose someone who’s important to our playlist, it is natural to reject the idea that they’re really gone. Denial is a common defense mechanism used to protect oneself from the upsetting reality that their boy Drake got killed by Kendrick Lamar. Despite knowing in their hearts that the Drake they love is gone, it can be hard to believe that he won’t be coming back with another flaccid diss track full of trash punchlines. In their desperation to bend reality, Drizzy fans may even attribute the loss to fake streaming numbers, say it doesn’t matter because he still gets hoes, or simply avoid the topic altogether in message board conversation.

Remember to be patient with them: letting go of bland artists is difficult, and purging your Spotify takes time.

Anger

A feeling that is commonly expressed by Drake fans as they start to process the reality of their hero’s beatdown. This rage may be redirected at other people, like the public for “being too dumb” to see that Drake is still the man, the rapper’s disloyal team for leaking info, or God Herself for letting this happen.

The fury may also become generalized and unfocused, manifesting as hatred of YouTube for posting “Meet the Grahams,” or even a loss of appetite when thinking about the tattoo on their neck of Drake doing the “Hotline Bling” dance. Don’t take their anger personally, and reassure them that they can always wear a turtleneck.

Bargaining

When we are in pain, it’s hard to accept that there’s nothing we can do to stop “Not Like Us” from bumping in the club, out of car windows, and at white lady spin classes. Bargaining is when you try to make a deal to bring back the Drake that made people wave their hands instead of shake their heads. These bargains can range from the rational, like a commitment to playing his shitty house music album to boost his streams, or represent more magical thinking, such as pretending that Kendrick did this because he’s jealous of Drake’s height.

While bargaining may help these fans purge themselves of the negative emotions they are feeling, friends and family should take care not to mislead them about their own power to change the narrative about who beat who. Because, come on, King Kunta wrecked that chump so bad that Canada revoked his citizenship.

Depression

A feeling of sadness and hopelessness that can result from a loved one’s loss in a rap battle. This pain can be very intense and hilarious. If you find yourself getting stuck in this stage, seek help from someone who can show you Brazilian Butt Lift Drake memes. Loved ones will need to make a conscious effort to offer compassion to the Drake stan in their darkest hour. As tempting as it may be to livestream their meltdown, it’s crucial to the recovery process not to crip walk in their face.

Acceptance

To truly heal requires recognizing the reality that your favorite rapper is a cornball and that’s… okay. Though he may be gone, you’ll always have the memory of that time Drake was kind of alright on Saturday Night Live.